Friday, February 27, 2009

Vampires Are Better Than Humen

You probably know vampires. Those mysterious human-like creatures who live on people's blood.
- The way to keep them away from you is to hang lots of garlic cloves in your house. It shows how classy vampires are. Do you want to smell like garlic?No; neither do vampires.
-If you see a vampire you need to expose a bible or a cross to him/her. This stops the vampire to get closer to you. It shows how vampires are respectful toward people’s religious beliefs although they don't believe in God.
-If you want to kill a vampire you need to hammer a wooden knife into his/her heart. It shows how soft their hearts are that a wooden knife can tear them.
-Transylvania has been home to many vampires for thousand of years. It shows how they value their family, relatives and friends that they want to live close to them.
-A vampire never buys a new house or mansion. They don't want to by houses while they don’t make any money. So, they don't contribute in increasing the number of toxic assets. They prefer to live in their predecessor’s mansions from thousands of years ago. Do you know any human who can live in such old mansions with least construction standards? No internet or even electricity? Can you imagine that you cannot check your facebook ten times a day? additionally, you have to repair your old broken mansion every weekend. Painting and repairing corroded plumbing system to name a few. But vampires do all these. You know why? Because they are hard-working creatures.
What does people do to vampires? they kill them because they suck their blood. About a century ago, people even used to buy Vampire Killing Kits including garlic, wooden knives, some crosses and a bible. Some of these kits had pistol too just in case. You know how much the kit above costs now? 14,850$.
It’s worth mentioning that vampires are not ugly. It's how corporate media picture them to serve companies producing vampires killing kits and related products. Below is a sexy vampire for your consideration. No plastic surgery or fake boobes. Entirely natural!
My question is:
For vampires, human blood is tied into their very existence. In a world where we kill each other for less convincing reasons, Why should we hate vampires?
Besides, have you ever heard a vampire commits homicide?

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey dude! this is Transylvania! not Pennsylvania!

Ep said...

Thanks for the correction. It was an early morning mistake. I corrected this post more than 10 times after I posted it and still has mistakes!

Anonymous said...

Hey, I love vampires too! I was thinking maybe you read Twilight novel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ep said...

Be ma eftekhar did Hooman jan. Kheili khoshhal shodam.
No, I did not read this novel but I knew the story's plot. I had to mention it in this post. My bad!!
:))